I was talking the other day to a close friend and telling her that I like to face my fears. I moved to the other side of the world to be with the Viking even though it scared me. I’ve enquired about donating blood because I’m afraid of needles (but I can’t give because my partner is English – he can’t donate in Australia either). I write about the most horrific things I can think about because it scares me, and in doing so I hope it horrifies and frightens my readers.
But there are a few things I am still irrationally afraid of and I can’t do anything about it.
One of them is spiders. I’m scared of them. Always have been. A few years ago I was the only person in my house late at night and a huntsman appeared on the wall. I talked myself into attempting to move it, got the broom and everything, preparing to take it outside; but in the end it moved about an inch and I nearly screamed. Then I tried to take a photo so I could tell my friends on Facebook how brave I was… and failed at that as well. I even tried to convince myself that she wasn’t ugly but her many eyes were in fact beautiful… I failed at that as well. In the end she ran into my room and I had to wait until my brother came home before I could go to bed.
I’m a wimp when it comes to insects as well. I don’t like wasps or millipedes or cockroaches. I hate bees and grasshoppers. I even avoid dislike moths. Just about the only insect I can stand is the butterfly, but even then I don’t want them touching me.
So that’s one irrational fear I have. I’d add a photo but I don’t even like looking at pictures of insects. I’ve thought about facing my fear of spiders by doing that ‘stick your hand into a tank full of spiders thing’ but I think I might faint if I did that.
I do have a second one. I’m not even sure where it started. I think it started one Halloween (which isn’t really celebrated in Australia) when I was quite young, about eight or nine, and someone told me that if you said ‘Candyman’ three times into a mirror in a dark room, a man akin to Freddie Krueger would appear over your shoulder. Or maybe try to kill you. That idea is possibly based on a film, possibly called ‘Candyman.’ I wouldn’t know because I don’t watch horror films.
I know I scared myself when I had glow in the dark braces at age fourteen and smiled at myself in a dark mirror. All I saw was a skull. I didn’t recognise myself.
I’ve been afraid of dark mirrors ever since. At night time, if I need to go into the bathroom I will always either turn on the light, or avoid looking at the mirror. This was particularly strange when we lived in the UK and had a big wardrobe with full-length mirrors on it.
I don’t know what’s going to happen if I glimpse myself in a dark mirror. Maybe I won’t recognise myself and I’ll scare myself. I seem to be good at doing that.
Do you have any irrational fears?
Do you have fears that you’ve faced and overcome?