Recently I’ve come to realise that my perfectionism is holding me back when it comes to delivering complete manuscripts.
I’m afraid that once I finish it, that’s it. And it’s true, that is it. Except for editing.
But you know, it’s always better in my head. So I don’t want to finish. And my excuse for not publishing anything is that it’s not finished.
It’s a no-win situation.
I don’t know why I feel like this. I’ve published two books and two short story collections. I know how to do this. I’ve had good reviews and bad reviews. I’ve had campaigns organised designed to drive me off the internet. I’ve retreated from any author communities and basically just stay by myself.
My plan this year was to write three complete novels using the Camp NaNoWriMo and November NaNoWriMo to give me the encouragement I needed, but that plan’s gone out the window.
Since I haven’t written anything in over a year now, I’m afraid I simply won’t have the juice to get going. Like an abandoned car whose engine won’t tick over.
So I’m going to tackle this perfectionism/procrastination issue by finishing my 2014 NaNo novel and another novella I’ve had sitting around waiting for me to just finish it.
I know how both of them end, so it should be easy, but a part of me doesn’t want to finish either project. I’m dreading locking myself away for hours on end in my office to write.
This is probably why I could never write anything to deadline. Or maybe a deadline would help. Who knows?
So it boils down to:
- Can I still write?
- Can I face hours of loneliness writing by myself?
- Can I finish those manuscripts?
Ah, the life of a full-time employed self-published author. We’re good at beating ourselves up.